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Year Three Thoughts.

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By Karli Mullane · August 13, 2015 · 0 Comments ·

<span style="font-size: small;">My wedding day was not my "BEST DAY EVER!!!" Not by a long shot. My bouquet wasn't the precise shade of pink I requested, our candy bar wasn't set up correctly, and most guests didn't go down the hallway where we had a photo backdrop set up. But those insanely minor details were not what derailed it. It was the timeframe that it took place in, a time when most everything that was important to me was falling apart, (everything aside from me and Sean, that is), and so my mind was everywhere but the once in a lifetime role of being a bride. It has killed me ever since that I can't go back and fix that.

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<span style="font-size: small;">Having celebrated our third wedding anniversary yesterday, this big "big day" disappointment that sometimes makes it painful for me to flip through the pictures and is the reason why I still haven't watched the video confronted me once again. At first, I did what I always do when this happens: try to talk myself out of it by painting it in a positive light:

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<span style="font-size: small;"><em>"Dealing with all that actually made your vows MORE meaningful! In sickness and in health? Check! For richer or for poorer? Check!" 

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<span style="font-size: small;"><em>"Fairy tale weddings ALWAYS have villains who make bad stuff happen right before them! Princess Jasmine was Jafar's captive just moments before she and Aladdin said 'I do,' you see?!"

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<span style="font-size: small;">While reframing it has helped, I'm tired of the same sad script somehow finding its way back into my narrative. And, knowing that the student in me needs to read something to believe it, this blog is part of my attempt to turn the page. I hope no one reading this interprets my motive for sharing as being preachy — these are truly lessons I am still trying to convince myself to learn, and seeing them in black and white (or in this case, 12-point sans serif font) is the only way I know how to start that process of acceptance and practice.

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<span style="font-size: small;">OK, so here I am at lesson #1: if it were a choice between having one perfect wedding day or countless red letter days with the one you love and like, simple math and common sense say the latter is hands down the better bet. In that scenario, I'm doing alright. We've truly had a ton of really great days both before and after.

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<span style="font-size: small;">Which brings me to lesson #2: every couple's big day should be a best day ever, but I say "a" best day on purpose because there's a lot of life to live after one's wedding day, and who wants to say life peaked so early on? Also, as in my case, if that one day didn't pan out to be that best day that was so deserved, numerically it's just a single missed opportunity. There are still chances to score many more.

</span>I had mentioned earlier that this blog was just part of my process of making peace with my past. The other part of it was asking family and friends to email stories about me and Sean as a couple since our rehearsal dinner didn't include the traditional speech portion of the program. In the spirit of "why not now?" I asked for those stories to be told three years later, and I put them together in a personalized leather book (since leather is the traditional gift for year three). The delightful and diverse words we received back were beyond anything I ever expected and have provided some much-needed perspective proving that our marriage and our love story are way bigger and better than any one day. It's a lucky thing to have so many loving mirrors reflecting back to you what you sometimes can't see for yourself. Now I just need to let these lessons sink in. 

So the plan is for this to be the final post on iKarli.onsugar.com . . . It's time for a new chapter. And to sum up this one, we're not done having best days. Not by a long shot.

What This Young Sprout Learned at Muir Woods

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By Karli Mullane · March 31, 2014 · 0 Comments ·

For my 33rd birthday earlier this month, I branched out from the typical dinner + drinks celebrations and took a hike to Muir Woods National Monument in Mill Valley. I wanted to feel young, even if it was just by default by standing next to a centuries-old stump. You see, within a week of my latest milestone, I'd been told by a stranger I "dress old," my manicurist offered the observation that I looked tired, and, well, folks, I'll be totally upfront, I discovered my first ever chin hair (which was quickly plucked into oblivion)! No doubt, I've endured challenging events in the past that have indeed aged me, but this was the first birthday when someone innocently asked, "do you feel older?!," that I answered most deifinitely, YES. But with age comes wisdom! And I learned a lot from my time amongst the trees and wanted to share these tidbits:

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1. "The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness" — John Muir</strong>

There really is nothing like being amongst magestical nature. Muir Woods is off the beaten path, which forces you to go off the grid, but while you are closed off to technology, you open up and can clear your head.

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2. "Although fire occasionally proves fatal, even badly scorched redwoods often sprout new leaves and branches."

This quote is from one of the plaques placed along the footpath, and this particular fact really resonated with me. I was once told (and even worse, I once believed) that I was like a tree that had been badly burned in a fire and no one was sure if I'd grow leaves again. I won't/can't get into that, but I will tell you that a houseplant on my porch that had been on the brink from neglect has since grown back and is even better than before now that I've provided it with its basic needs to thrive and the unhealthy weeds are no longer suffocating it. That example, and natural history, seem to support the truth that one can come back and be even stronger in spite of hellish flames.

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3. "This is not an end, but a beginning."

Continuing on that last thought, the Muir Woods docents reiterated that old growth forests are dynamic, always changing. And therefore, after every fall, there is a rebirth. Now that's something that can be applied even outside the forest.

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4. "As the very tallest and oldest of living things in the world, redwoods are indeed giant survivors from a time of giants." 

You can't help but picture yourself on the set of Jurassic Park when walking through these woods. The prehistoric feel of the plants makes you think it's actually possible that a dinosaur could be right around the next bend, even though we all know they're all extinct. But back to the trees. They're still standing tall and have been for millions — yes millions — of years. They are survival experts and we should really take away a thing or two and protect these teachers for generations to come. 

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5. "The wisdom to let go like leaves in the fall."

Inevitably though, there will be falls. For the trees. For us. This gift shop gem was my last reminder as I exited the park that it's in all our best interests to leave disappointments, worries, doubt, and fear behind.

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From the ferns I've been fond of since the fifth grade, to the therapeutic babble of the day's rain dropping into the flowing stream, it was great getting some fresh air while hanging out with some smart Sequoias we can all really (and literally) look up to. Today marks the end of my birthday month (which, for the first time ever, I really did celebrate all March long with various family and friends), and while I am more accepting of the latest age ring I've added to my theoretical trunk, I'm still working on embracing the growth of that chin "moss," shall-we-say. 

Help Give Cancer The Boot

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By Karli Mullane · March 26, 2014 · 0 Comments ·

The picture on the right is from today's rally; the left, our wedding day on the very same steps at City Hall. I am deeply saddened by what a difference 20 months make in this case, but, I am proud of the difference Capt. Dan Armenta's life is making for others. Those are boots resting on the stairs — one pair to represent each San Francisco Fire Department member who has passed away from cancer. For my family, it still hasn't sunk in that Uncle Danny is one of them, and I don't know if it ever will. He was larger than life; loving; loyal; and always, always laughing. (And not just that way with his family or his extended Familia de Celia, but with his firefighting family, too). The day he lost his battle was the same day HBO's Toxic Hot Seat premiered, and I have to believe it was not a coincidence, but part of a larger plan to make sure his life and our loss meant something. I also believe my part in all of this is using my words to spread the word, so, please take the time to watch the documentary about our everyday exposure to toxins due to TB 117 — it's not solely a firefigher issue, though it does seem to be hitting them extra hard — and support the San Francisco Firefighters Cancer Prevention Foundation because there are already enough reasons why I have to worry about my Mr.'s safety and if I never have to attend a firefighter funeral ever again, it will still be too soon.

The 90's to Now

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By Karli Mullane · February 14, 2014 · 0 Comments ·

First gift I ever gave this guy was a green flannel. I gave him a new one today, complete with one of those black + white little kid cards we always used to exchange. We also made the appetizer from our first ever Valentine's Day dinner (The Fish Market's cheesy bread). From the 90s to now, Mr.'s my one and only! Happy Valentine's Day to all! xo

Tagged with: Mr., 90s, valentine's day, holiday

DIY Diddy Reese-Style Dessert

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By Karli Mullane · January 9, 2014 · 0 Comments ·
This cookie monster misses the amazing and affordable cookie ice cream sandwiches sold steps away from UCLA at Diddy Reese. While the sentimental (and actual value) of those dollar desserts can never be upstaged, I adapted some of my favorite San Francisco treats to fill that void (and my stomach). Take Anthony's Cookies cookies, combine them with Mitchell's ice cream, and thank Pinterest for the precision technique and sprinkles tutorial, and you've got yourself a gourmet version of my favorite college confection.




Pictured above: Cookies & Cream on Cookies & Cream and Vanilla on Chocolate Chip.
Tagged with: mobile

2013: No Expectations = Year of Fun!

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By Karli Mullane · December 31, 2013 · 0 Comments ·
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Foodie Foursome

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By Karli Mullane · October 9, 2013 · 0 Comments ·

Chowed down on delicious dishes at Comstock while listening to a live band and engaging in fun conversation with the Amblers!

Tagged with: San Franciso

Happy Birthday, Hubby!

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By Karli Mullane · October 7, 2013 · 0 Comments ·

Baked the birthday boy banana bread for breakfast, treated him to a taco lunch, dined at A16 and SusieCakes cupcakes, then had a private screening of Runner, Runner in the Marina. Happy 32nd to my most favorite person ever!

Totally '80s

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By Karli Mullane · October 6, 2013 · 0 Comments ·

Channeled a couple of our childhood faves for an awesome '80s party in Napa — they were projecting Pretty In Pink they served Corn Nuts . . . rad!

Chico Peeps

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By Karli Mullane · October 2, 2013 · 0 Comments ·

Had the chance to meet up with two of my Chico peeps in SF tonight, after catching up by phone with another the night before. Talk about picking up where we left off. I love my North State family more than they probably know!

Tagged with: Nitin, chico, derek, san francisco